Actual things I said prior to hiring Vivian:

• “I’m not making room in the bathroom for another girl’s stuff.”
• “You guys better not pick anyone skinnier than me.”
• “I like being the only woman. Don’t hire any more women. I am the Queen Bee.”

(Actual meme Vivian has sent to me)

Actual things that have been said by Vivian and I, lifted from our Skype convos:

• “YAY THANK YOU YOU’RE THE BESTEST!”
• “Vivian, that’s why you’re my favorite”
• “SNAP Atta girl, Vivian.”
• “I don’t know what we’d do without you”
• “We know who the smart one around here is”
• “Be calm, honey bunny.”
• “If we’re adopting you as our youngest sibling, you need to accept the pain.”
• “I love you so hard vivian.”
• “I’m not taking you to pee.”
• “Don’t you worry Vivian, I will protect you.”
• “you’re still my hero! aka more helpful than all the guys in the office combined”

Brian calls us each other’s names. Also, sometimes we dress alike. <3